Asking for what you want, Getting what you deserve…

It has been hard to admit how overwhelmed I am with this mother to a toddler thing.  I was lucky never to have had the “baby blues” when A was born…so maybe that is part of why it is so surprising to me that I feel alone in this, because it is so rarely spoken about.  Post pardum depression or anxiety is something that is really getting much more awareness now.  I really believe that we will be hearing more and more about toddler mom depression soon!

I don’t know that I’m “depressed” but I’m definitely not myself!

Since I’ve been in this new place, figuring out what to do and how to do it, I’ve been hugely supported by some very important people in my life…and a little disappointed at times by a few.  I guess that’s always the way it goes though.  I’ll never forget that support and the people who were able to see me struggling and were there to step in to put a smile on my face.  People who were there to tell me to snap out of it and talk me down from my ledge.  Those friends and family who offered advice on how to cope and just let me vent my frustrations.  I am very very imperfect, but I always try my hardest to be there for the one’s I love.  I expect the same in return.  Hopefully…when I ask for what I want, I’ll get what I deserve…but if I don’t…then I’m thankful for what I have.

My family.  My friends.  My girl.

I love you A.  Even when I’m sad, mad, frustrated, overwhelmed, or just plain exhausted!  You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life.  You are my entire world.  I will do anything and everything for you.  Always.

 

21 Months….Where Did the Time GO????

My baby girl is 21 months old today.  It just doesn’t make any sense that she’s so big!  I haven’t really done a “what is A up to” post in a while…so I thought, before she’s 2 I should get down on the blog what she’s like as a nutty under 2 toddler!

the good, the bad & the crazy!

We’ll start with The Crazy…

  • She wakes up every day asking for “dinner”…pronounced “DEEner”
  • Some other things she has asked for when waking up in the morning are: “I want crying”, “I want yogurt”, “I want agua”, “Mommy come in door”, “Tito come in door”, “I want Daddy”…those are pretty standard ones that follow the “deener” request.
  • She eats 3-4 Yo Baby yogurts for breakfast.
  • She loves Elmo, Yo Gabba Gabba, Minnie, Aladdin, Lion King & Toy Story
  • She literally eats anything…and a lot of it.  The kid loves food.
  • She went pee pee on the potty!
  • She loves to watch football…even when Daddy isn’t around.
  • She has the CRAZY biggest vocabulary!  She definitely knows more words than Auntie H 😉
  • She loves to dance.  Anytime, Anywhere…except dance class!

Dancing Queen!

And the BAD…

  • She bites.  Her cousin & her friend.  It’s bad and anyone with experience other than, don’t let her near other children, I’m open to suggestions!  It only happens when she’s tired, unfortunately, she needs 12-13 hours of sleep at night and a 3 hour nap during the day to not be tired.
  • Her yogurt habit is getting expensive.
  • She drags me around like a slave all day…telling me “Mommy sit on floor”, “Mommy cook”, “Mommy color”, “Mommy clean”, “Mommy I want yogurt”…etc, etc.
  • She does like to clean…or “cleap up”, but not before she makes a giant mess where ever she goes.
  • She pretended to love dance class for a while, and now refuses to participate at all!  Dance class means, Mommy dances and A hangs on my neck!
  • She’s jealous of T and wants everything he has, or to be everywhere he is.  Poor dog can’t do anything anymore without being told “NO T”!
  • She is a big drama queen.  She’ll go from laughing & smiling to full on tears and screaming in a heartbeat!

Emmy winner for dramatic performance goes to.....Miss A!

Most importantly, the Good…

  • She gives the best hugs & kisses.
  • Her laugh is infectious.
  • She sleeps until 8:30am! (knock on wood)
  • She loves to clean the floor!
  • She loves shoes.  Boots, sneakers, sandals, party shoes…it makes up for her intense love of football!
  • She loves animals.
  • She loves her Gamma…and her Cousin S & A2.
  • She walks around all day asking “Where Aunt E GO?
  • She says “I love you” all the time…but, every night before I put her down for bed, it melts me.

Love that smile!!!

Miss A, Daddy and I love you more than words can say.  You are an amazing, smart, funny, sweet, loveable girl.  I can’t believe you are already 21 months old, 2 is too too close!  Keep making us laugh baby girl!  If you could lay off on the crying a little, I wouldn’t complain!!!

Its POTTY Time!!!!!

My baby is turning into a big girl…

We went to Target today & I stumbled upon this…so I decided that since we’re about 50% done with the bathroom renovation, we should get her a potty to start training soon.

As soon as we got it into the kitchen, Miss A needed to “go pee pee a potty”.  SO Mister LK got her all ready & she sat herself right down!  Then she got up…and pooped…NEXT to the potty!  So close A!  But then…

She sat back down & PEED IN THE POTTY!!!!!

Reward = 2 M&Ms!  I think I know someone who will be needing to “pee” a lot!  Maybe … if she’s like her mommy … a lot, a lot!

Daddy & Mommy are so so proud of you A!

Bathtime Belongs To Daddy…

but AFTER the bath…..well that is Mommy…..all the way!

Every night, we give (or try to give) A a bath.  That has turned out to be Daddy’s special time with her.  I listen to them from somewhere else & it melts my heart.  He’s teaching her some letters, they play with her toys, and she has so much fun with her Daddy who she misses all day long!  Then…the water drains, he wraps her up in a towel, and like clockwork…”I want Mommy” begins.  I’m not sure why she prefers me to dress her for bed, but she does, and I really don’t mind!  I miss that naked tushy when I don’t get to diaper it….at least when its clean & dry from a bath!

We are starting renovations on A’s bathroom this week (possibly tomorrow even!) and I’m so excited for the change.  Reminder of what it looks like now.  Pretty for 1972…but we’re in 2012 now and I think I’d like to go a little sleeker & less…well…tealandblackfloweroverload!  This is going to seriously change our bathtime/bedtime routine…I might even have to shower with A in the evenings.  Imagine that!  I’ll get a shower every day!  This might be a nice change after all!

Anyone ever live through a bath renovation with a toddler?!  Survival tips?!

LKSquared … 2011 Year In Review

2011 has definitely been a year that I will remember forever!  There is nothing like buying a house and raising a 1 year old!  So much of the year has been crazy busy…I thought it would be fun to jump on the “year in review” bandwagon…at least to remind myself of all we’ve done this year!

January:  2011 started out slow on this blog since my beloved laptop died & I had to wait for a new computer.  Once it got here, I had to write everything down from A’s 7th month so that I wouldn’t forget among the chaos of moving into the new house!  Uploading photos from our move revealed some super cute photos of A helping!  We also found some photos of Cousin A2…our phantom baby!  We got a great ETC post at Grampa’s Hanukkah party!  We said our final goodbye to A’s first home.  Over at the new house we got a beautiful new sink!  We celebrated A’s 8th month, got to see her huge smile for Yo Gabba Gabba (not much has changed with that last part!), and figured out how to handle a baby who wouldn’t sit still!  I made my first plea with the 10,000 ants invading our house to GET THE HECK OUT.  We remembered how pretty A looked at Thanksgiving dinner in another ETC.  We posted pics from our New Years Eve taco dinner.  I became an Ikea Hacker.  We got new windows in the dead of winter!  A’s nursery got some personalized art.  I put together some inspiration for our master bedroom.  A’s Aunties were the star of the final ETC post of January! Finally…A showed me that nothing I buy is ever really for me!

February:  A started feeding herself.  I embraced the camera with my 2 debils.  Birthday madness starts.  We celebrated cousin S’s 2nd birthday!  We celebrated Cousin A Mash & Grampa with a little fun in the snow.  Then Grandma’s birthday!  We Embraced after a girly photo shoot!  I took our Living room from navy to black.  A made a boy cry.  A started holding her own bottle!!!  We hosted a superbowl/Glee party!  We had a very sweet Valentine’s Day.  We went to Cousin S’s school for her Yo Gabba party!  Daddy pompom’d A’s ceiling!  We played at the Children’s Museum of Paramus.  We wished our future husband M a big Happy Birthday!  We started swim lessons with PD!  We reviewed A’s 9th month and wished a happy birthday to Auntie E!  We visited our awesome family in Chicago!  We ETC in bathing suits!  A had her first bubble bath!  We compared A to our baby pics to see who she looks like!

March:  We wished our best friend PD a very happy 1st birthday!  We had a visit from AG&M where we went to the aquarium, played in A’s playroom, checked out the park in Brooklyn, and went to PD’s birthday party!  A also got her first stomach virus.  We documented A’s 10th month.  A went to Grandma’s house & gave Mommy a much needed day off, we had lunch with all the girls, we wished Cousin S good luck getting her tubes in her ears, we played a little ice hockey with friends, and I confessed my stress!  Finally – I got snuggles from an 11 month old…best feeling ever.

April:  I went down to Maryland for a visit with Auntie S2 and left A home with Gramma.  We wished Uncle P a happy birthday.  I embraced the camera on a bad day.  I found a glider that ALSO reclines and was sad I didn’t find it before I bought the one I did.  I was given an amazing gift by Auntie S2’s Daddy.  We took A for her 1 year photos!!! We started celebrating A’s birthday early with Grampa & B, and then we had the main event.  A’s 1st birthday extravaganza!  Then she actually turned 1.  Holy Hell How’d that Happen!  We didn’t get much reprieve before Passover came!

May:  I turned 31!  I celebrated with 2 of my favorite girls.  We celebrated Mothers Day with a vacation to the Florida Keys with the G Family…did it have to end?  We celebrated Aunt D’s birthday between traveling.  We celebrated 2 years of wedded bliss.  I found out that when some people google “pregnant young girl” they get “lksquared”!   I turned to my first parenting book for help!  I suffered from mommy-brain 🙂  I updated some of Cousin A2’s milestone’s!

June:  We went to Florida with Mister LK’s company for Memorial Day but it took me a while to get the posts up!  First we hit up Disney, then we spent a day at the hotel.  We came home to play on the beach here with PD.  We wished happy birthdays to Uncle B & our great friend E!  A started to get a little loose with her kisses!  We embraced the from Epcot.  We had fun and kept cool in the yard.  We welcomed baby CJ to the family!    We found our cat M in the closet.  We celebrated Father’s day.  We went to A’s first dentist appointment!  I thanked an amazing mother for being an amazing friend.  We reviewed Duke Falcon’s Restaurant in Long Beach.  We celebrated Auntie S’s 30th in NJ.  We embraced on a very busy day!

July:  Happy Birthday Great Grandma A!  We celebrated July 4th with munchkin CM!  We packed up our good friend SB to move to Buffalo.  We wished baby CJ a happy 1 month.  We headed to Sesame Place with Grandma & to a country style family reunion, where we also ETC!  We welcomed home baby CJ!  A created her very first painting masterpiece!  We embraced A’s 15 months with a list of her crazy big vocabulary!  We wished a happy birthday to Grand Aunt G!  We posted Baby CJ’s nursery mood board.  We wished a happy birthday to Uncle C!  We prayed to find Daniel Bobis.  We ETC at the beach with Auntie E!

August:  A started wearing Mommy’s shoes!  I reached out to other free rangers.  A got her first fever.  We visited the R Family for a weekend in Connecticut!  We added Elfa to the laundry room.  We spent a very rainy day playing at PD’s house!  We sent Daddy a pic while he was away in Vegas!  We replaced the siding on the house & reviewed Built Right Renovations.  Gramma bought A a Howdy Cow bouncer!  A ate 4 cobs of corn at 1 dinner!  We felt the east coast earthquake!  We ETC & started a search for 20 minute recipes!  We documented our house in photos in preparation for Hurricane Irene!

September:  We evacuated Long Beach with the whole family & headed to Auntie H’s in Brooklyn.  We came home to a tree on our house!  I noted how different grocery shopping is now with a toddler.  A & her forever friend held hands on the boardwalk.  We wished baby CJ a happy baby naming.  We took down the pear tree & cleaned out the crawl space.  I missed my Grandma like crazy.  CJ & A met for the 1st time.  A tried on my baby sweaters!  We ETC on the cool fall beach!  A spent the weekend at Gramma’s, and we remembered the sweet moments between M & A from their visit!  I entered the Paper Mama photo challenge with “Young Love” & was a favorite!  A got sick and slept for 48 hours straight.  We wished AG a very happy birthday!  We celebrated Rosh Hashana & had our first dance class!

October:  We removed the pear tree stump & had A’s first 20 minute tantrum.  I entered the Paper Mama Photo Challenge again with “this is the life“, “toes in the sand“, “all the street cred, no boobs“, “face“.  We wished a three way happy birthday to Cousin A2, Auntie S2 and puppy B.  A got super sassy & obsessed with Cousin S!  We ETC in the pumpkin patch.  I started to get my photo albums put together.  I found a really funny video!  We had a family photo in the orchards.  I pulled my back out right before our Halloween dance party.  Finally, and most insanely…we got our new fridge!

November:  Mommy & A had their very own dance party!  A went on a weeklong vacay with Gramma & we wished the G’s a very happy 3rd anniversary and a happy birthday to Daddy!  We reminisced on our trip to the City Hall pumpkin patch while A was not with us.   I prepared myself to go back to work after a week off!  Leading up to Thanksgiving there were 7 days of thanks.  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, & 7.  I ended November with a special wish for A.

December:  We embraced the camera on a 65 degree day!  I entered A’s sandy toes into a new photo challenge on Iheartfaces.com.  A unpacked from Florida herself.  I was offended by the neurotics who wrote that cry-it-out makes you a bad mother.  We ETC from the Long Beach, Cali airport with the birthday girl & from Legoland!  I laid out why Santa doesn’t visit our house.  Mommy & A cleaned up our lawn.  We wished a happy birthday to Miss O.  We spent Christmas Eve at the tree, which is where we ETC from!!!  We had 2 Hanukkah parties & I got to recap 1 so far!

And here we are!  ready to ring in 2012 and see what adventures lie ahead of us!  Every year with A is going to be crazier and faster than the last.  I’m buckling up.  As far as resolutions go…I want to be a more patient mom.  In an effort to do this, I’d like to find a better balance between momLK and personLK without sacrificing A’s wellbeing.  Will be difficult, but I’ll keep my hopes up!  I had dreams of what I would be like as a mom.  I thought it would be so simple to keep my life what it was & not let “mommy” takeover happen.  While she was an infant, this was super easy…she was easy to tote around and quiet or napping most of the time.  Then I started navigating toddlerhood.  Boy has my life changed, but when I sit back and think about how this happened to me, I realize, there’s nothing more important than her happiness and well-being.  This year I’m going to try to work in some time for myself to do the things I love and hopefully…I’ll be more settled with the idea of my life coming 2nd to hers!  I had my chance to be #1…it’s her time now!  I’ll just make being #2 the best it can be!

Happy New Year!!!

Party + Party = Present Overload

This holiday season brought lots of parties to the LK house.  Perhaps it was a result of the fact that 1 year ago we were living with my mom while the house was undergoing some updates.  Perhaps it was a result of the fact that once we moved in, we were terrified that the ants were going to carry everyone away if we invited them in.  Whatever the reason, this year was the year of the PARTY!

We had to have 2 parties.  Party #1 was on night #3 & was soooo much fun!  Here’s a look.  Warning…this post is crazy full of photos & might take a really long time to load!

Lots of friends and family! (and this isn't even half of them!)

A playing with Uncle C! How happy does she look? Silly girl!

1 phone isn't good enough....she's hoarding Auntie E's phone in her pocket too!

PJ Time! Just lounging in her new sleeping bag from Cousins J,D,I,R,&B while checking out her new coloring placemat from Auntie E!

A's sitting on Mommy's Hanukkah present from night 3! Love my new stool! Thanks Daddy!

Best pre-bedtime ... belly laughs with Auntie E!

Party 2 photos coming soon!

Before There Were Presents…

There were sticks!

Literally – right before Hanukkah and all the presents came pouring in, Mommy & her little girl spent some quality time outside on the lawn.  We have a really great lawn, but we rarely spend any time enjoying it since it is in the front of the house and not fenced in.  It was a crisp day, but not too cold and after I picked A up at school, she was not ready for her nap and she was not interested in going inside.  I noticed that our trees had shed many of their branches onto our lawn & the gardeners had not done a “fall clean up” yet…so we got to cleaning!

It did feel oddly like I was talking to a puppy as I was telling her to “go get the stick and bring it to Mommy”, but she had the best time…and did a MUCH better job than T ever would have!  He’s as big as most of these sticks!

Baby Fetch!

"More stick Mommy?!"

taking a break!

My big girl!

We want to wish a very Merry Christmas to everyone celebrating!  We hope your feast of 7 fishes is delicious…your Christmas morning is plentiful…and as my favorite real housewife of NJ Melissa says “It’s Jesus’s Birthday!”  Family…blood & chosen…that is what is most important.  Health, happiness & family is the recipe for a wonderful life.

Winter Clothes Are For Wimps…

We here at casa LK like to take our time unpacking from long trips.  Yes A went away with Gramma a month ago…so what if it took 3 weeks to get her clothes back in her dresser!  Turns out – even though they were pretty much all summer clothes, A missed them terribly while they were in the bag & needed to wear them immediately.  As in…ALL of them.  At once.

You can’t see everything here, but let me explain what she is wearing here….

2 bathing suits, 2 shorts, 2 pjs (tops & bottoms), a sweater, a raincoat, and 2 dresses…

its how we keep warm in the winter without getting new clothes 😉  yea right….

 

Back to Work….

As I opened up my blog reader, I noticed that Mondays are difficult for most people.  Everyone hates a Monday.  Monday is back to work day.  I normally don’t feel this Monday pain, as everyday is a work day for me…but this week I had a very lovely vacation!  Grandma took A down to visit Auntie S & Mister LK and I had the week to ourselves!  It was glorious.  We went out to dinner with friends, stayed out past 10pm, celebrated the Mister’s birthday 5 different times, slept in & didn’t watch 1 single episode of Sesame Street or Yo Gabba Gabba!  My favorite things I did this week were spontaneously going out to dinner (I miss you spontenaity…you’ve been gone for so long!), and getting creative.

Dinner, Art, Cleaning, Organizing, Sleeping, Showering, Makeup, Hairdryer…..things of my “staycation”.

Today is my Monday…my back to work day…just instead of paperwork, filing, phonecalls & meetings…this is my work…

This week was really great being kid-free, but I miss that smile so much my heart is going to burst!!!!  I can’t wait to hear her laugh & get a giant hug & kiss from her!  I just hope she hugs & doesn’t hit!!!