Oh This Tushie…

Thank you Grandma for clearing up a question I have had for a while now.  Why people always tell you that “you’ll miss this”, when you are 100% certain that you will NOT.  This 3 year old business is no BS.  According to Grandma…the teenage years are worse.  I’m not exactly sure, but I’d imagine it has to do with their hormones and the time it takes for them to acclimate to their mood swings…horray.  can’t wait.  might go insane when that time comes.  thanks a lot.

A dancing

This kid can go from laughing and smiling, to hands on hips screaming “I AM ANGRY” faster than this guy…

Bugatti-Veyron_Super_Sport_Profile-480They say this Bugatti goes 0-60 in 2.4 seconds.  She’s got him beat by about 1.8 seconds.  I’ve really never seen anything like it.  It can make your head spin.

A looking sweet

It can also eliminate your patience quite quickly too.  That unfortunately can make you feel like a terrible Mom.  I am pretty sure I won the award for bad parent of the year yesterday, but truth be told, losing my sh*t seems to be the only thing that gets her attention these days.

Things I have tried:

Ignoring the tantrum:  I like to think of myself as a logical person.  Especially when I’m not PMSing.  I always believed that if you just ignore the behavior, they’d have no reason to keep doing it & they’d stop…eventually…right?  Nope.  Not here. Not this kid.  I think my ignoring her actually gives her a superpower to keep going and going and going without passing out.  Oh right, and when she does pass out….she just wakes up screaming some more.  Gives her a little energy boost.  For anyone who thinks that I’m exaggerating, please feel free to come on over and check it out for yourself.  The longest we’ve gone here screaming is 4 hours.  Can you imagine screaming about something for 4 hours????  Now try to imagine listening to someone scream for 4 hours!!!!  I’m guessing we can rule out ADD since she clearly has the attention to stay on one topic for extended periods of time!

Talking Calmly:  Makes her scream louder.  Like…”MOMMY….I SAID I WANT “X”, DID YOU NOT F*&KEN HEAR ME?????”  ok, she doesn’t curse.  But it feels like she is at the volume she’s using.

Consequences:  We just moved in.  We had so many toys that we told people please do not bring more toys into our house.  She now has 3 toys left in her closet.  When I tell her she’ll lose her: toys: “that’s a good idea Mommy…give them to strangers!”; Ipad use: “OK…I don’t want it”; TV/Movies “Yea…shut it off, I don’t want to watch”; even losing her skirts/dresses which was recently effective “Oh Mommy…these pants make such a cute outfit”; HER LIFE “I don’t care!” This is probably the most infuriating.

Rewards:  We have a pompom jar.  She loves it.  She loves getting the pompoms, putting them into the jar, getting the reward at the end.  Except when she doesn’t give a damn.  “I’ll get one later”.  Oh no you won’t…..

Losing it:  This is the only thing that gets her attention.  Makes me feel like a crappy Mommy, but sometimes you do what you have to.  I’m sure she’ll become immune to this soon as well…so I’m reserving this behavior for only the most seriously out of hand days.  My hope is that these last 3 weeks of us being home (stuck inside because of weather, workmen, or eventually punishment) are just too much for both of us to handle, and that her vacation (that starts MONDAY!) and camp (when she gets back from vacay) will alleviate much of our stress around here.  We need some separation!

Bright side….look at this tushie…..how cute is it without that stupid pull-up?

A's tushie

Even if she pees in those panties twice a day just to be able to tell me “Don’t get upset…it was just an accident!”

Good luck Grandma.

Note for the future:  Miss A…you will read this when you’re old enough & think I am an unreasonable Mom.  You’ll re-read this again when you are even older and have a toddler and you will laugh.  Hysterically.  Hopefully while on the phone with me, like I did with my mom.  I love you.  More than my own life.  Nothing will ever change that.  Go hug your kid.  Although s/he’s probably screaming right this second.

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One thought on “Oh This Tushie…

  1. Wow LK…that was emotional. I actually teared up a bit at the end. Great writing and great pics! XOXOXOXO to everyone!

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