The Holy Grail Of Mothering…


This post is a direct result of some psycho-babbly article that is floating around on Facebook.  One that is trying to make us “Cry-It-Out” believers feel bad or feel like we are doing irreparable damage to our children.

I have little to no patience for people telling me what to do.  I never have.  Its part of the reason that this mother thing is so difficult for me.  My little girl tells me what to do all day!  If I had to deal with her telling me what to do all night, I might jump off the roof…but contrary to the belief of some, that is not why I believe in the “cry it out” method.

I believe that I know when my child needs me.  I know when she’s sick, or when she is just bored in her crib.  I know when she’s scared, or when she’s feeling left out of the action in the living room.  My choice to let my child sleep in her own bed, in the silence & tranquility of her own room, to let her soothe herself to sleep is not and never has been a situation of distress for her.  She’s been sleeping through the night since she was about 10 weeks old.  I didn’t “sleep train”, I fed her until she was satisfied, and she was able to make it through the night (read: 11 or 12 to 6 or 7).  We did what worked for us.  I got her on a feeding schedule and never once in her life “fed on demand”.  She didn’t need it.  She thrived on her schedule.

If you met my daughter, I don’t think you’d say she was damaged!

I’ve given lots of advice to friends/family since I’ve become a mother.  I’ve always noted that I’m explaining what worked for ME and MY FAMILY.  I say, if you’re struggling with something, you try everything until you see what works.  Anything you try, has to work for your baby AND you.

There are many methods of parenting that I don’t agree with.  Some I’ve mentioned here on this blog, but truth be told, it’s a personal decision & you can make it if you want to!  As far as these studies being done…I think they’re great.  But I don’t think they are law.  I don’t believe in “the right way” to raise a child.  I’ve read approximately 5 chapters combined of parenting books…when I was so frustrated that I needed someplace to turn that wasn’t my usuals.  After those 5 chapters I decided that it’s all BS.  I did my research…I chose the books with scenarios from all different types of kids.  None of them were “mine”.  Unless you are evaluating your actual child, none of these books are a bible to be followed…because they aren’t about your kid!

If 999,999 kids were damaged by “crying it out”…well Miss A is 1 in a million!

My happy girl!

If you parent differently than I do…and you have happy children…good for you!  After all, that is what it is all about…happy, healthy children!

3 thoughts on “The Holy Grail Of Mothering…

  1. I just met with a friend today who has a 2 1/2 year old who every night cRawls into bed with them around 2 am- and I hate to say its because they didnt sleep train he at all!! my son has slept thru the night ever since I can remember – because of your advice LK!! love you f

  2. Pingback: LKSquared … 2011 Year In Review « LK squared's Blog

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